Dear God, please let us have a hung assembly

a kewl post by Krishna Prasad on INBlive blog.



Dear God,

Long time no see.

Trust you are having fun.

You must be surprised to hear from me again. As you know, I was pretty pissed off when you returned my get-well-soon card after the 2005 tsunami with the inscription "Addressee Not Found". I could be wrong, but I swear it was your handwriting on the envelope.

To err is divine. So here's a chance to set your record in order.

Something quite akin to the tsunami is about to strike Karnataka, and wherever you are, God, please do something about it. I come to you because of the advertisement that hangs above the Vidhana Soudha: "Government Work is God's Work."

So, here goes: please, please, please let us have a hung Assembly.

I know it's not the prayer you have been receiving from the future inhabitants of its chambers who have been going to every known temple, church, godman, mutt and mosque hoping to convince you of why they, and they alone, are worthy of single ownership for the next five years.

I know it's not the advice you have been receiving from media mavens and policy wonks, political analysts and industry experts, who talk of stability of government and consistency of policy, and point to Bangalore's current state to explain what happens neither is around.

But Bangalore ain't Karnataka---and believe me, all of us are better off if you could swing your benign gaze at the electronic voting machines and conspire to confuse them all, once more.

As you would have no doubt decrypted from the airwaves, sitting

wherever you are, there have been three pre-poll surveys so far. One says the Congress will win, one says the BJP will win, and one says it's going to be hung. Those seeking further guidance have been consulting astrologers, numerologists, palmists, tarot card readers, and Feng Shui and vaastu experts. They too have been saying the same thing.

Krishna (the earthly one) says people are sick and tired of coalitions. Yedi says "god's own party" will break "all records".

Kumaraswamy says the JDS will get more than the Congress and BJP. At this rate, if everybody gets a majority, there would need to be 544 seats in the Karnataka Assembly. That, as you know from your skimpy knowledge of Indian civics, would make it the Lok Sabha, which it is not.

So here are six reasons, God, why a hung verdict is the best thing for all of us.

1) None of the parties have done anything to deserve our unreserved approval: In fact, all they have done in the last four years is to ruin your good name sitting in the so-called temple of our democracy, through some of the most grisly words, deeds and actions ever seen east, west, north or south of the Vindhyas. There has been no contrition, no shame, no remorse at squandering the vote. And looking at the seat allocation this time round, and the contempt for the lay voter accompanying it, there is no evidence that they have learnt any lessons either.

2) None of the parties have demonstrated our vote is safe with them: Looking at the way most of the leaders and their parties have been pining for a majority this time, through a shower of largesse and sops, it is as if, somehow, it was all our fault that the mandate was fractured, as if the political class is not to blame, as if this can be corrected with the right gifts. There has been absolutely no soul-searching, no introspection as to why a State which was a pioneer has gone down the tube; no grand vision for the State; no blueprint to set things right.

3) None of the parties have the humility to respect a clear mandate: Whoever is awarded a majority this time will think a similar result is in store in the general elections. If the Congress gets it, it will be seen as a validation of Rahul Gandhi. If the BJP gets it, it will be seen as a validation of the "Gujarat Model". If the JDS gets it, good heavens, your reputation will be in tatters. But, honestly, God, do any of them deserve this honour when neither has worked hard enough to convince us, to win us over? Can elections be won by default, by sympathy, by luck?

4) We are better off if the spoils are shared: Too much is made of Karnataka's decisive verdicts in the past. That was OK in the era of one-party rule at the Centre. But when coalitions are becoming a part of the national political grammar, our parties and politicians need to learn to get along with each other. Enmity and animosity cannot be the bedrock, not for long. If two -dozen parties could come together to form durable governments under the NDA and UPA, what prevents Karnataka's parties from joining hands, if it gives representation to different groups, regions, interests?

5) Stability is a middle-class myth: As the CNN-IBN poll showed, only 11 out of every 100 respondents thought the most important issue facing them in the election was the instability of the government. In other words, 89 out of 100 did not indicate that they were bothered so much about what bothers politicians, analysts and the media. What they want is action and performance. Not just in Bangalore, but across the State. And that should come regardless of the formation in power, not because of it. Whether one party provides it or three.

6) And, finally, opinion pollsters and media will have an escape

route: Polling agencies and media organisations have put their neck on the line by predicting such widely disparate results. Only one of them will be proved right. Only a hung verdict will save the rest from having their reputations chopped off, and surviving to tell the story, somewhere else, some other time.

Of course, you are a free individual, God, and are free to do whatever you please.

But it will be nice if you could remind the world that "Government Work is God's Handiwork". Don't go around cribbing that nobody warned you, if those who enter its portals turn out to be atheists.

Yours truly,

Krishna Prasad

P.S: Is all-seeing-you really backing the Royal Challengers in the IPL?

(Krishna Prasad is editor and publisher, www.churumuri.com)